Reading, Watching, Listening (March 2021 - WHM Edition)

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Winter is my slow season, so I’ve spent a lot of time relaxing with books, music, and netflix. Here are some of my recent faves. And, since March is Women’s History Month, I thought it would be fun to focus on women’s stories / women’s issues.

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READING

(1) A Children’s Bible (fiction) - This was one of the best books I’ve read in the last 5-10 years. It’s a college reunion turned apocalypse scenario, told from the perspective of a teenage girl. And, while that probably sounds overly dramatic, it’s also funny. And incredibly well-written. And scary AF. Global warming is real.

(2) Eat the Buddha - Life and Death in a Tibetan Town (nonfiction) - Barbara Demick’s book, Nothing to Envy, Ordinary Lives in North Korea, is one of my favorite works of nonfiction, so I was pretty excited to read her newest book on Tibet. Unfortunately, while Eat the Buddha is incredibly well-researched, with lots of interviews, it didn’t quite resonate with me. Perhaps because recent Chinese history is so complex, it’s hard to tell the story of Tibet without knowing when to narrow and when to increase the scope.

(3) Consent (memoir) - Vanessa Springora’s memoir, about her experience as a 13 year old girl who was seduced and made “muse” to a famous french author/pedophile 36 years her senior, apparently made such a big impact in France that they recently changed the law governing sexual consent and minors.

I’ve highlighted similar stories on this blog - A Teacher (TV show) and Trust Exercise (fiction) - but, in my opinion, Spingora’s is the “must read”. She’s a fantastic writer and does a great job, after 30 years, finding a way to take back her own story, focusing less on her trauma and more on the society that allowed it to happen.

According to Spingora, ““For many years I paced around my cage, my dreams filled with murder and revenge. Until the day when the solution finally presented itself to me, like something that was completely obvious: Why not ensnare the hunter in his own trap, ambush him within the pages of a book?”

(4) Kim Ji-young, Born 1982 (fiction) - This short Korean novel focuses on how women are continually devalued throughout their lives. In particular, it details how society’s small biases hurt us all - so many minuscule “slights” that may not even register until one looks at the bigger picture.

(5) The Past (fiction) - Lately, I’ve been a little obsessed with the idea of personal histories and how we remember things/how people change. So I really loved this novel about four grown siblings returning to their grandparent’s home for a long vacation. Tessa Hadley is amazing at creating complex, believable characters (I also loved her novel Late in the Day) and making everyday interactions into wonderful narratives.

(6) The Door (fiction) - This Hungarian novel about a novelist’s relationship with her housecleaner was not what I thought it would be. I assumed it would be about social class (which it somewhat is), but it is also about war, family, and aging - all of which the narrator approaches from a perspective I’ve never head before.

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LISTENING

(1) Free Love/ Sylvan Esso - Lately this album has been on constant repeat, especially Rooftop Dancing. It’s catchy and happy and makes me feel like life is good.

(2) Songs/ Adrianne Lenker - Throughout December and early January I listened to this album on repeat over and over again. I wish I could explain why I love it so much, other than to say the songs are so mellow and so beautiful, that it almost feels as if Lenker is singing directly to you.

(3) Evermore/ Taylor Swift - Despite being in my 40s, I feel like I’ve “grown up” with Taylor Swift. When my children were preschoolers, we all danced in our kitchen to 22. I debated buying tickets to the 1989 tour, but decided to wait until my daughters were a little older and I was a little wealthier ( had I known then a pandemic was coming . . .) And I love how TS keeps growing. Freya and I have spent HOURS dissecting this album and ranking our faves. It is SO GOOD. My current top 5 (which changes frequently): (1) Evermore, (2) Long Story Short, (3) Dorthea, (4) Ivy, (5) Tis the Damn Season.

Freya’s current top 5 (1) Champagne Problems, (2) Ivy, (3) Gold Rush, (4) Willow, (5) Long Story Short.

Anyone else have rankings?

(4) Chilombo/ Jhene Aiko - Aiko’s voice is beautiful, but her songs are dirty and raw and this album is the best combination of everything.

(5) You’re Wrong About/ podcast - I’m so excited that I’ve FINALLY found a podcast to love. I walk the dog in circles for hours because I can’t stop listening. I don’t always agree with the hosts’ conclusions, but I love how they switch the narrative by asking us to relate to pop icons like Jessica Simpson and Courtney Love rather than mock them. Plus, this show is funny. My favorite episode so far was on ebonics (and my disgust at the media for misrepresenting everything the linguists said).

(6) Silent All these Years/ Tori Amos - Lately Freya has been really into music and she keeps “discovering” all these 90s bands. Which should be awesome, but I’ve realized that they are all men - Nirvana, Radiohead, the Wu-Tang Clan, etc. What about Liz Fair? Hole? Tori Amos? Why aren’t they being “rediscovered” as well? (Or maybe they are and my sample size is just too small). As I was contemplating this, I decided to play Tori and then I found this on youtube and now I can’t stop listening.

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WATCHING

(1) Schitt’s Creek (all seasons, Netflix) - Okay, so I’m deviating a little bit from the “woman” theme here. But we need a heart-warming comedy somewhere on this list, don’t we? And every member of this ensemble cast is AMAZING. (so yay! for strong women and strong men and town names resembling curse words!). It took me awhile to get into this show - about a formerly wealthy family forced to relocate to a small town - the first few episodes aren’t that good. But, eventually, the show finds its way. Every single character is lovable and fallible and ridiculous. And they all make me so happy, in the funniest of ways. This is also the perfect pandemic watch, as it constantly reminds me that a life one didn’t choose can still be a wonderful life.

(2) Nomadland (Hulu) - I didn’t know anything about Nomadland before we watched it and I’m not sure what I expected - but basically it’s “vanlife” for seniors, which is fascinating in so many ways (and now I really want to read the book). The cinematography is incredible though I’m not sure if I ever really understood Frances McDormand’s character.

(3) Promising Young Woman (Amazon for a fee) - This is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. It’s funny and it will break your heart. Watch it with your (older) children and talk about the issues presented. Parker laughed. Freya cried. Enough said. It is perfect.

(4) The New York Times Presents - Framing Britney Spears (Hulu) - I can’t decide if this 1 hour documentary is good reporting or a gross oversimplification of a complicated issue (mental illness), but either way it forces us to question the narrative that we originally accepted about Britney. Seriously, why were we so fascinated by her virginity? Why did we love Justin Timberlake and vilify Britney? And, why oh why did we not feel more sympathy for a young mother clearly dealing with major mental health issues?

(5) Ted Lass (Apple TV) - I know a show about an American football coach who is hired to coach soccer in London may seem like an odd fit for WHM, but i totally love this show and its wide array of quirky, lovable characters. Plus, I am so happy to see strong women and their friendships portrayed in an honest, complex light (though also funny). Bechdel test winner. (“Be curious, not judgmental”).

(6) I May Destroy You (HBO) - The Golden Globes received a lot of flack for leaving this show - about a women’s rape - off their list of nominees. And I too am not happy about this decision. The show was at the top of every critic’s list and to snub it from awards, choosing Emily in Paris instead, shows that the world is a f**ed up place. Anyways, I May Destroy You starts off with a hard to follow plotline and lots of flashbacks, but, if you stick with it you will soon see why so many people loved it. And the finale, please let’s all talk about the finale. Possibly the best episode of television ever.

As described by a writer for the TV show Emily in Paris, “I May Destroy You was not only my favorite show of 2020. It’s my favorite show ever. It takes the complicated issue of a rape – I’m a sexual assault survivor myself – and infuses it with heart, humor, pathos and a story constructed so well, I had to watch it twice, just to understand how Coel did it.” (More here).

WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE? ANY GOOD RECOMMENDATIONS?

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Darcy Troutman Photography is a Northern VA/Washington DC/Maryland documentary-style family photographer, who believes in capturing real moments. Interested in learning more? Please click here to sign up for my newsletter or schedule a session.